oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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