I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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