something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We are all done wearing pants today
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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