lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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