he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
