New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
