saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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