Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
