please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
