Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
