that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
