I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
