Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
