the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
