whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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