Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
