Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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