He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
