I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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