Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
