Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
