I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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