me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
