I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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