So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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