wanna go halves on a baby?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
