is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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