I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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