the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
