The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
