Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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