There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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