You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
