i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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