Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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