Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
