i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
