He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize