Don't you send me to vm
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
