the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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