Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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