My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
