It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
