shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
