so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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