Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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