Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
