the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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