My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We are two peas in an std pod
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
