dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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