So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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