by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
