I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
