i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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