they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize