i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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