Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
