You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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