Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
